Driver left to pick up the pieces after truck used in suicide

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OSHAWA, Ont. — When Adam Lowry pulled back the curtains of his bunk on the morning of April 18, there was nothing to indicate this would be the day everything changed. It was Good Friday, a cool but pleasant spring day and considering the winter Ontario had just endured, no one would complain.

Lowry awoke in his truck at the Fifth Wheel Truck Stop in Bowmanville, having delivered a load in Pickering the night before.

He did his pre-trip and headed to the village of Havelock, about 90 kilometres east, where he picked up a load destined for Alabama. Lowry was about to embark on one of his longer runs, which would keep him out on the road for four to six weeks. Coming back through Bowmanville, Lowry noticed the westbound scales were unstaffed, so he took advantage of the opportunity to check his axle weights. The CAT scales now cost about $15, so he uses the government-funded weigh scales whenever possible.

Lowry returned to the Fifth Wheel in Bowmanville, faxed in his paperwork and had lunch.

He would later wonder if all these small decisions he made throughout the day had somehow conspired to put him in the worst place at the worst possible time.

Leaving Bowmanville around 5 p.m., the Easter Weekend traffic thickened with travellers merging on and off the 401. Lowry stuck to the centre lane to avoid interactions with the car traffic. As he approached the Ritson St. exit he stayed in the centre lane, two hands on the wheel, listening to the radio for traffic updates. He moved with the flow of traffic, slightly below the posted speed limit of 100 km/h.

Ahead, Lowry noticed a man standing on the shoulder of the highway. He found it odd, but not alarming. Had he been in the right-hand lane, Lowry would have slowed down and moved into the centre lane. But since he was already there, he continued on. As he got closer, the man suddenly put his head down and charged into traffic, taking a beeline towards Lowry’s grille. Lowry immediately slammed the brakes but the impact was unavoidable.

Looking through a flesh- and blood-speckled windshield, Lowry somehow got the truck safely to the side of the road. Two thumps as he brought the truck to a stop indicated to him his truck had run over the body it had been dragging along the road. He would later be commended by police for his professional driving; had he swerved into the busy long weekend traffic, the end result could’ve been far more tragic. Parked, Lowry tried to call 911, but his fingers would not cooperate and they instead poked random digits. It mattered little, as an ambulance followed not far behind and first responders were quickly on the scene. Lowry’s first instinct was to inspect the truck for damage but witnesses and paramedics kept him from exiting the cab. It was now a crime scene after all, so police told him to stay put.

So Lowry sent a satellite message to his carrier Celadon, who immediately booked him a nearby hotel room so he’d have someplace to go. They would later send an employee from Kitchener to Lowry’s Welland home, to bring him his gear, as well as supplies and most importantly, some support. When the accident scene was secured, police guided Lowry from his truck, doing their best to shield him from the gore. Lowry sat at the side of the road sobbing and became upset when he noticed a crowd of onlookers had gathered on a nearby hill and were taking photos and video of the scene with their cell phones.

The police referred Lowry to Victim Services, which gave him a teddy bear. This small gesture moved him immensely.

“They were very nice to talk to,” Lowry told Truck News when recalling the events. “They even gave me a teddy bear and that made me cry because it showed people cared. Someone cared enough to donate these to Victim Services and someone cared enough to give one to me.”

That same night, Lowry vowed he’d never drive again.

What prompted an anonymous man to throw himself into the path of a semi remains a mystery, as does the man’s identity. Police appealed to the public for help in identifying the victim, but days later, they still had not confirmed his identity. He carried no identification and no one had reported him missing.

One thing that’s known for certain is there was more than one victim that Good Friday afternoon.

A week after the incident, Lowry was at home with his family, trying his best to come to terms with the events that happened a week earlier. He wanted to talk to Truck News because he has since learned that suicide by truck isn’t all that uncommon, and he wants others who have experienced it from behind the wheel to know they’re not alone. He also hopes people considering ending their life in such a manner may reconsider if they read about the effect their actions will have on the driver whose vehicle has been used as an instrument of suicide.

Lowry hasn’t driven a vehicle – not even his car – since the incident occurred. He loves trucking and doesn’t want it to end this way. But he admits he has a long way to go on the road to recovery. He takes consolation in the fact that paramedics and police told him the accident could’ve been much worse if he’d veered into the heavy Easter weekend traffic.

“The police told me by not freaking out, swerving or jackknifing, I didn’t take out any cars and I didn’t wipe out the whole highway. I kept control of my vehicle and got it safely off the road. They commended me for that and made me feel like I wasn’t a failure,” the soft-spoken Lowry said. “It wasn’t until Monday that I accepted that the gentleman killed himself and I couldn’t do anything about it.”

Still, Lowry can’t help but question his own abilities. Throughout his 12-year driving career he took comfort in the thought that by doing everything safely and in accordance with the rules, that he could keep tragedy at bay. He’d done a thorough pre-trip – checked all his lights and tires – weighed his load to ensure he was in compliance, drove at or below the speed limit with two hands on the wheel and yet still, this happened. The idea he could do everything right and still have tragedy visited upon him shook him to his core.

“I was doing everything right and I couldn’t stop this man from dying. I thought that if I did everything by the book, as I did for 12 years, every day…” he said, his voice trailing off. “I no longer have that confidence. My best is not good enough to stop people from dying. He destroyed that view that my best would be enough.”

Asked if he’s angry with the man who caused all of this, Lowry admitted he was at first, but with the support of his family and church, learned forgiveness was the best reaction.

“I did have some anger,” Lowry said. “Yeah, I had anger. But I got over that quickly. I’ve forgiven him. I let the anger go.”
Instead, Lowry worries about the lasting impact this will have on his family and the other witnesses, including a mother and daughter who were among the first to arrive on the scene and had a front row view of the entire incident. He even heard that some of the first responders who attended the scene required counselling to help them deal with what they’d seen.

Lowry said he still harbours some resentment, but it’s directed at society, for allowing this man to slip through the cracks.

“I’m mad it got to the point he was on the highway. If he somehow could’ve been held in some institution, maybe he’d still be alive today,” Lowry said. “Maybe he needed diagnosis and treatment.”

But while Lowry chooses forgiveness over resentment, and determination over self-pity, he is grimly aware that his entire livelihood and his family’s wellbeing are threatened because of the events of April 18. He has been di
agnosed with an acute lower lumbar sprain resulting from the accident, and realizes he’ll need plenty of counselling and therapy – both mental and physical. He’ll be off the job for a while and will rely on Employment Insurance and WSIB to get him by. He’s grateful his employment benefits include several visits with a psychologist and his wife’s will cover ongoing counselling.

He knows recovery will be a long road. He’d suffered three flashbacks the day he spoke to Truck News and it was only mid-afternoon.

“I don’t feel sorry for myself but what this man did has set me and my family back (financially) by a number of months,” Lowry said.

Nonetheless, he’s determined to bounce back.

“Each day that passes, I cry less and choke up less when I tell the story or have a flashback,” Lowry said. “Family is so important. Friends have come over for coffee. The ladies at the church have brought over meals. I feel like I’m getting lots of support and I think that’s making a really big difference.”

Just one week after the incident, Lowry had decided he would, in fact, resume his driving career.

“Yes, I do think I will drive again,” he told Truck News. “The first night, I didn’t think I could. By Sunday, I didn’t want to. But I know that it has always been my dream. It’s a good enough job to pay the bills and I also love doing it and I thought, I can’t let this man take my life too.”

Lowry has set a personal goal. His daughter’s birthday is on the Victoria Day weekend, which this year falls on May 17-19. Lowry would like to return to work that weekend, after her birthday – at least to chat with the dispatchers, see the new truck Celadon has promised him and to load up his gear. If it feels right, he’ll head back out on the road. If he’s not yet ready, he’ll wait. Celadon has told him to take as long as he needs.

“A lot of it will depend on how it goes with the psychologist,” he said. “I want to make sure I’m good to go. But if I don’t set a goal, it won’t happen.”

Lowry hopes his life will once again return to normal and that he’ll be able to resume the career he loves. He hopes that talking about the incident will bring closure and raise awareness about the impact suicide by truck has on others. But he’s also painfully aware the events of April 18 will stay with him forever.

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  • Dear Mr Lowry unfortunately we cannot control the road that is laid out in front of us .if we could there would be a lot less senseless deaths on our highways .i myself have been a commercial truck driver for the last 25 years short and long haul miles and a volunteer firer fighter for the past 22 years and I’ve had too deal with my share of fatality involving tractor trailers the first thing i try to do after making sure the driver is OK is too make sure that we understand that unfortunately we cannot control or destiny . what the good lord has in store for us we will never know. there are reason for everything and that we should build our self from these mishaps . i guess what I’m trying too say is that with your experience you took control of a bad situation and made a positive by not trying too maneuver which may have be disastrous .and perhaps a driver with less experience would have and what would have been the outcome .unfortunately we will never forget and the next time you see someone on the side of the road I’m sure you will take the widest berth but always remember that because of your action,s some child out there got too see mommy and daddy come home.so my friend keep the faith and be strong because for every negative there,s a positive . and we need all the good safe driver on the roads helping and protecting or fellow neighbor . god bless and keep up the great job.

  • I feal sorry for lowry and hope he recovers soon and for the family of the deceased .A lot of people just can’t under stand how somebody can use a trunk for suicide as somebody said it happens more often than you expect just recently in hamilton somebody did the the same . it just makes you wonder what is in their minds at that time and what could have been done and how they have fallen through the cracks . It just leaves a big hole WHY .

  • Mr. Lowery

    I commend you for sharing your story and setting the goal of returning to your career. One can only imagine how many people such as yourself have had to live through the aftermath of such a tragic event in silence without any support. I hope this fine publication has helped you in the road to recovery by connecting you to others who may have been involved in similar circumstances.

    Stay strong, one day, one job and one goal at a time.

  • My heart is very heavy after reading this article. No one should have to go through this type of pain in their lives. I commend the driver for offering love to the man who took his own life in the way of forgiveness. I hope that in time the driver can forgive himself for what happened. It was in now way his fault but you always second guess everything you do in a case like this. My daughter took her own life. I know the pain. My thoughts are with the driver and the man who thought death was the only way out. May we be more thoughtful of those suffering from mental health issues and help in any way we can to make life bearable and worth living.

  • Mr. Lowry
    I can certainly associate with what you are dealing with. I also drove for Celadon and 7 years ago this month, I had a pedestrian run out into the interstate and I hit her. The first 48 hours were devastating for me but I came to terms with it.
    I, like you racked my brain trying to figure out what I could have done differently. The answer was nothing. The lady herself put into motion the events that led to her death. I went on to drive again and refused to let myself be a victim any longer.
    You will find your way back as well. You will never forget but you will move forward. May God bless and guide you on this journey.

  • Mr. Lowry. Should you read this, please know that our best will never prevent needless deaths, we can only be sure that we are not the cause. The individual was wrong to involve you, but nothing you could have done would have made a difference, if not your truck it would have been another. Yes, this will always be with you but our Lord asks us only to bear what we can and give the rest to him. May His peace be with you.
    Lee Brau, driver Crete Carriers.

  • Me. Lowry,
    I too have had an accident similar to your and I did not return to driving. Honestly I never thought I would get back into a truck again, but 22 years later I am riding with my wife in a truck we are buying. I have never forgotten that day in 1992 and I know I never will. My respect go to you for controlling your truck and making the right decisions to avoid making it a bigger accident. God be with you friend and speedy recovery.

  • I know two people this happened to. One a long time veteran driver a man jumped between truck and trailer while he was at red light. Not knowing the person was there he pulled away the man fell under trailer. Not suicide but same affect 15 years latter said still has hard time in traffic. He thinks of it allot . The other a new driver in nj had a depressed lady run out in front of him just like you police very supportive and called his work to let them know how well he handled the situation but he was full of the same thoughts you were. He did not drive for a long time after that he was only 1 mo. Into having cdl. When this happened. Get help from family , church , and professionals to help I’m don’t know why people that want to end there life have to hurt others while doing it.

  • I had this happen to me in New Hampshire about 10 years ago except the woman drove her car into me head on at roughly 110 mph, she got her wish also leaving me with a broken neck and internal injuries. Although she left a suicide note that was no consolation to me. I have been disabled since the accident and still have bad feelings, a little anger still lingers because of the changes in my body and life. I found out afterwards this is an all to frequent event. stay vigilant driver and its not your fault

  • Thank-you. Your comments encourage me. They also make me cry, because I know that people care. I am on the road to recovery. God bless you all.

    Thanks,
    Adam

    • Dear Adam,
      I know that more time has passed and you have moved through a gamet of emotions a million times over. I just read your story today and it brough back memories of my dad. I would like to share a bit about who he was with you, and what trucking meant to him.

      My dad joined the military at 17 and they found out during basic that he was a minor. Instead of shipping him back to the farm, they added sniper school to his training and this made him 18 when needed. My dad was shipped overseas to fight in the Korean war. During his start there, that sweet young farm boy saw horrors no one should see, especially a tender, wet behind the ears, naive kid raised to support life, not take it. At one point, there was an ambush and dad and another carried an injured pal back to medical care. His condition looked grave, but dad felt that he’d survive because he was very chatty the whole trek. The doctors told them the fellow was gone and that shock kept him talking. My dad was not right after that. He ended up injured and the army decided that he could best serve them elsewhere. He was sent to Seoul Korea to drive trucks and bring supplies to those needing them. He continued to drive trucks until the UN was moved out of Korea. When dad came home he was really messed up. He still had horrible flash backs and at one point he had to be hospitalized. Fireworks brought on traumatic amnesia. When back on his feet some, he found work driving long haul trucks and he loved the travel, the friends he made, and getting on the CB. He came of long haul runs for a family crisis and then met my mom, so he stayed local driving truck here and even hauled the steel to build the CN tower.
      Then dad had the first of two big accidents. The first was when a top racehorse got spooked and ran into highway traffic. My dad was devastated that a creature so beautiful died that way. He loved animals so. We left Malton after that and moved our family to Kingston and dad started over driving for a smaller trucking company, a great place with amazing staff that I will always remember. After a few years driving for this company, my dad was in another accident that was not his fault but the drivers. My dad took time off, gathered his thoughts, and was blown away when a passenger from that accident sued him and the trucking company. Life can be twisted and the lawyers from the trucking company decided it was cheaper to settle. My dad felt that in their doing that, they were suggesting he was to blame. He knew he wasn’t all along and this caused him so much strife that he decided to stay away from trucking forever. He then was offered the position of dispatcher with the company. He was able to remain among the guys, and was happy to be near, if not in his beloved trucks. My dad worked there and later as a manager in Perth until his health forced his early retirement. My dad missed the guys and was always kept in the group. Parties, christmas, retirement. Every big event my folks had, the drivers came. My dad and mom traveled some, and dad enjoyed their drive coast to coast. He never lost his joy for the open road and he was forever prepared to help anyone stranded. He stopped at every scene, walked a mile back to lay out flares and offered help to anyone needing it. He was a great man. His last few years were rough, though he beat cancer, and dealt with Alzheimer’s, it was something much bigger that brought about his passing. His licence was taken away. My dad had not gone far for the few years before, but he always had a big plan for his next epic road trip. He was always ready for his next fishing trip too. Even though these trips were too much for him, losing his licence meant he was never going to go again. That just took the steam out of his determination. Nothing else could. I took my dad to his every appointment and sat through every chemo… And the last trip to the hospital, when they did his intake, they asked his name, birthdate, next of kin, doctor… and as the nurse walked towards the door, he took my arm and said, “I forgot to tell her I’m a trucker.”

      My dad passed away December 22, 2011 at the age of 79.

      Many truckers attended his funeral. Even guys I remembered from back in the 70s and it brought me to tears to see them all.

      My dad was so much more to so many. He dedicated his time to several charities like the Cancer Society, Crohns and Colitis, Heart and Stroke. He worked with the Royal Canadian Legion, KVA, RCHA, the Poppy Fund, fought for benefits for other vets, the naming of veterans hwy, getting epitaphs in all towns to remember Korean vets, and spoke at schools. He also cut and gave the wood to those unable to heat their homes and was president of his legion as well as running the bar for years.

      My dad was a great many things to a great many people. He was my hero. As I look back, my most fond memories are when my dad took me in his truck with him during the summer. I chattered on the CB and got to eat chocolate cake at truck stops. I felt strong, invincible, lived to pull air horn, and still today will listen to Red Sovine trucker songs and smile.
      I’ll be foreverl proud to be a trucker’s daughter.

      Adam, I don’t know if you are still away from your truck, but I want you to know that once a trucker, it stays in your heart whether you’re behind the wheel or not. Do what you need to for yourself. You are a good man. (and patient to read this)
      Sincerely
      Christina.
      christina.vanderaa@gmail.com

  • I am so very sorry that this tragic event happened, but you handled yourself like a true professional. I am sickened that people felt the overwhelming need to take pictures with their cell phones, that is truly disgusting and heartless, imho. Just remember, you did nothing wrong, you did everything right, and no one else was hurt, or worse. Please stay strong in your faith, and know that there are good people that do feel your pain and anguish, and that care. God Bless…you will get through this. Every day above ground is a good day!

  • Adam, I am so sorry to hear of this tragedy…not only to you but to all those involved. I too felt anger as I read the beginning of your story as my father was a truck driver for over 30 years and still drives in the City. I cannot imagine and dare not try to put myself in your shoes but know that you, your family, those at the scene and their families, and yes even the man who felt this was the only option left to him are all in my prayers.

    Last year my cousin laid himself down on the train tracks and let a train roll over him. I have had to deal with the anger and pray for my family and the poor engineer and his family and to forgive my cousin for the pain he caused…even as we grapple with the loss of him who was loved and just could not see all those around him trying to help.

    There is nothing anyone could have done and I am very glad that you are the truck driver that you are that you kept your cool and prevented other accidents. I do wish to point out to you that in your story you speak of a mother and her small daughter being there… if you had not kept your cool they too could have met with tragedy.

    I will be praying for you… and I hope one day you can return to the road with your confidence and find enjoyment in it. But until that day rest well and God Bless you and yours.

  • My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. I commend you for being able to keep your wits and handling this tragic situation in a professional manner. I won’t pretend to know how you feel, Noone can unless they’ve been through it, however time and support will help with your recovery. I am glad you have the love and support of your family and your church and community. Again, I will keep your family in my prayers.

  • I am not a truck driver, but my brother drives a truck. I had never heard of this before, and I am horrified to hear how many people choose to end their lives this way. What a selfish thing to do! Fine, take your own life. But don’t destroy another’s life in the process. I am impressed that you were able to handle yourself so well during the incident. You certainly saved other lives that day, and I hope that gives you some comfort. I will pray for you. I pray that you can find peace and recover fully. Thank you for sharing your story.

  • I am so sorry you had to go through this. I’m a truck driver and love driving. Yes these people that took pictures didnt have the heart to respect this incident. I pray everyday i come off the road safe.
    Dont let this guy keep you from doing what you love. You can do it. Keep on TRUCKING!!!!!

  • We are Brothers of the road. All of us who do/did this for a living. We are Professionals, some are better than others. This man is a Professional in every term of the word.
    I am the wife of one of your Brothers of the Road. I noticed that he said he did his best but it wasn’t enough.

    If we all lived in separate worlds where we had no contact with other human beings we would never lament that our best was not good enough-it would always be. We would never have to take responsibility for the actions of others and we wouldn’t ever have to suffer physical and emotional pain that was brought on by the trouble of others.

    But we live in a world full of human beings and we are all flawed in one way or another.

    This man who was obviously doing what he loved to do. Doing his best. Doing what he loved and I assume was very good at. It would be a shame for him to stop. If I could speak to him, I would ask him, no, beg him to remember- He saved a lot of lives that day. What if someone who wasn’t doing their best was the one who had the misfortune to hit that person who was intent on killing himself. Many, many more would have died that day. Good Friday-it was good for a lot of people. A man choose to sacrifice his own life at the emotional expense of another without regard for the possible consequences for the drivers and passengers on that highway. Without regard for the families who would be destroyed. I would ask him, the truck driver, to consider this, he was the instrument of salvation for many people. Families are whole because he was doing his best. Please remember the day-the sacrifice that was celebrated on that day and the resurrection that took place 2 days later. let the One who died for all and who rose for all do His best in you (the Truck Driver) as you continue to do your best on the highways of this world.

  • I am sorry he did this to you, we need you back out here your experience is needed you need to share this with others so we can all be a support group God bless you and your family I pray you find peace and know you are an awesome driver don’t let this take it away from you!

  • My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. It’s unbelievable under the circumstances that you were able to bring the truck to a safe stop without hitting anyone else “congrats to you for that”. As a former dispatcher of yours I know that you have always followed all rules of the road, and your attention to details has always been impeccable. Am glad that the family is there for you. Should I be able to help in anyway please don’t hesitate to get a hold of me.

    Guy & Caroline

  • I have true heart felt feelings for drivers that experience such tragedy. The employer I work for has 3 of these types of suicides that have occurred in the past one year. Only one out of three of those drivers have returned to back to an active driving career. From this company to you, we wish you all the support to you and your family. G Bless….

  • I don’t ususally add comments to any story. However, this 1 touches very close to home. In a few weeks, it will be 15 years that I’ve endured life with the aftermath of a suicide by truck. The memories are as vivid today as that faithless night. The night sweats, the tinnitus, the waking up every night at the same time the young man ended his life by driving into my big truck, are constant, ongoing reminders of how I failed at trying to save something that he was trying so hard to end. His life.
    There is not a day that goes by that I don’t think that there had to be something else I could have done to save that young guy. I’ve exhausted all scenarios numerous times. Yet I do keep going over it and over it. I know there wasn’t anymore I could have done, but that doesn’t mean we dont search for it. As it was, I put myself in peril to avoid him. The smart thing would have been to hold my ground and just go over the top of him. But I don’t think there is a driver out there that would do that. We, as professionals, always have some “out” to avoid impending disaster, even if it means we pay the ulimate price. That night, I had no outs, as you had none Adam. It has taken me a long time to accept that, and it is my only hope that you can come to terms with this much faster than I have with mine. Either way my friend, my thoughts are with you.

  • Blessed are those who strive to save life but fail, for they still tried. Have my blessing upon this day to help speed your recovery from this tragic event. May your dreams not haunt you, may you not shake or worry, may you know as much peace as needed to remember but not to suffer.

  • Adam Lowry…it’s a sad & tragic reality that there are many truckers like you(and I) who have been unwillingly drawn into a life ending event by persons at the end of their coping abilities. Luck is a fickle thing. Circumstances place us at unfortunate locations where we truly are “in the wrong place at the wrong time!” Your behaviours over your career, the morning of the event and at the moment of the tragedy clearly demonstrate the fact that you are moral, considerate and conscientiously disciplined in the performance of your responsibilities as a heavy truck operator. There was not “thing one” you could have done to realistically alter the outcome of what this unknown man had planned. Yet, you are the one who has to find a way to continue. My heart aches for you and what you are going through. I started to drive O.T.R. a number of years ago after a long and painful career as an ambulance officer(paramedic). The solitude of this job has given me lots of time to ponder why tragic things happen to good people. If I understand from the story, you may be a man of faith. I recently started to search for a relationship with GOD in the hopes that I may find some peace.

    You are an excellent example of the high quality of person who can be found in this profession. I truly hope you find the strength and focus that will enable you to return to the highway. I empathise with you Adam and understand the depth of the trauma you feel.
    GOD speed Brother!

  • My thoughts and prayers go out to my friend, and from your story you did everything you could to avoid this, my hat is off to you for that. Remember that you have a world wide friendship with every driver out there, and your actions saved more than you can imagine. Take the time to heal, and to say a prayer for the person who decided to take his life by a Trucker! One day you will find peace and not only forgive that day, but also never forget the reasons how small they may seem to keep doing your best and to continue your career .. Take Care!

  • People die everyday to suicide !! nobody knows why !! im 29yr veteran driver n had 1 hit me n the ass end !! but thats trucking !!

  • I have known Adam for years and know him to be a compassionate, Godly man. My heart goes out to him and the family that they should have to go through such a traumatic experience. But we rest in the knowledge that our God is faithful and will help Adam heal through this.

  • Dear Adam and family,
    My heart goes out to you and your family at this horrific time. As a wife of a Trucker who has logged over 42 years in over-the-road experience, some of which I was able to share as a driver, I can understand what you face each and every day that you are driving. Please know that it is NOT your job to be able to “save” people by re-ordering your life. You have done everything right so far, as is shown by your care and control of your equipment, management of your working environment and defensive actions. Your family needs you to be able to feel your way past this incident. No one can do it for you. You have shown how big your heart is by forgiving this poor individual. That is the best thing you could ever do for yourself and family. I just want to thank you for bringing this to light, and for being a solid Trucker – we need more of you around!!

  • Story brought tears to my eyes…As a trucker i understand you did it all the way your supposed too. Ive been in similar situation years ago…I couldnt drive for a while even my car…grief an depression is a heavy it stays for a long time and i just want to say time heals….it wont go away totally but in time things will get better..Sorry for such a horrible experience.

  • Adam,

    I know the area your accident happened at well! I drove that corridor for 15+ years. Considering the the timing,being a holiday weekend,your being behind the wheel was many “other” peoples blessing!
    Your skill allowed those people,although shocked by the situation to carry on with their Easter plans friends,family,celebrations or just “home” safely! You are a credit to the Trucking industry! It would be an absolute shame for us to lose a professional of your calibre!
    I cannot even imagine what what you are going through,but I am 100% behind you in your pursuit to return to the “Road”. It “is” the best job on the planet!!!

    Godspeed brother!!
    Terry

  • My husband, my four boys aged 6 to 13 and I passed by this scene, heading eastbound, en route to a family Easter weekend. We passed by within seconds of it happening. My husband and I saw the man in the road (thankfully, our children were oblivious). I was in disbelief and devastated. It was difficult to make sense of what I was seeing. I replayed that vision in my head all weekend. I could not stop thinking about the many victims…the person who was hit of course, but also the driver(s) who hit this person and the people who witnessed the unnatural end to this man’s life. I knew this would be life altering for them. Adam, I was feeling for you with all my heart. What I didn’t realize until reading your story is that you many have kept us safe through your actions. I am so sorry for your experience, but I am so thankful that you have the skill and strength you have. I hope you can soon resume your passion. Keep healing, and know that you were, in fact, our blessing that day.

  • This happened to me as well in 2006. I went back to work 2 days later. I found even though i had to drive right by where it happened getting back to work was better than sitting at home with nothing to doand constantly thinking about it. I also decided that the persons decision to use me as their weaponwas their choice not mine. I have continued to drive and currently pass by the scene twice a week.Not always easy but letting it control your life is aworse choice.

  • My family got onto the highway at Ritson Rd about 4 minutes after this incident happened. Emergency services were not even on scene yet. We too saw the man lying in the road. Luckily my 4 children were too excited about Easter to realize what had happened. My heart immediately went out to the truck driver. I wish people who think about commiting suicide would take into consideration how their decision will affect the lives of others. To Mr. Adam Lowry-Thank you. If it had been anyone else with less experience, less perfection, we don’t know what the outcome would have been. There could have been many more losses of lives that day, but with your professionalism you didn’t take that mans life. You saved others. You were there for a reason. Thank you so much. It could have been my family just minutes before on that highway. I will forever, as well as many others, be grateful to you. Please know his selfish decision should not detere you from living your life. My thoughts and prayers are yours. <3

  • Adam,
    I am brought to tears reading about your experience on April 18th. As a new driver, after reading your story I will always be thinking about people on the side of the hwy differently, and be a little more cautious.
    You did an incredible job at keeping control of your rig and preventing more deaths. Thank You for telling your story as I learned also that you can use the government scales for free when they are not open.
    I wish you and your family all the best and hope that you can get back to doing what you love soon. Please keep driving as we need all the best drivers out there.

  • I don’t drive for a living, it just wanted to tell you this story moved me. I feel for Adam Lowry and hope he’s able to heal. Giving Celadon a high five for being so supportive as well.

  • This is just absolutely heartbreaking. Having witnessed a suicide on a subway car myself, I know how haunting the images are, and how it stays with a person. I cannot imagine, though, how it feels to be in your position.

    Adam, I am so sorry you experienced this. Thank you for your amazing efforts to keep others on the road safe, and for speaking out and seeking support. I wish you healing and peace.

  • I am shedding tears Adam as I read this article, for you, your family and yes for the suicide victim and family. So many people hurt by this decision to take one’s own life. Adam I have a verse I wrote about a person whom I know who committed suicide. If you wish to have a copy of it, just e-mail me & I will send it to you direct. I feel sad that this person obviously needed some kind of help and apparently didn’t get it or not enough follow-through. The act of suicide touches so many others. We all need to reach out to help wherever we can. I pray that your recovery from this experience will be full and complete Adam.

  • Hi Adam, very sorry to hear about your ordeal – it is one of the worst I ever came across. You will need services of a psychologist who specializes in treatment of post traumatic stress. Feel free to contact me if you need any help. I am a lawyer practicing in Barrie, ON.

  • that was a hard read mate never blame your self was or never will be your fault ,once some people know they are going to do it you cant or will not stop them , ,i am a trucker and i do wonder some time when i see people on roads in the middle of no where ,what is he going to do as i get closer to him you can never tell , good luck in moving forward ,and get back in the truck and haul ass my friend

  • My sympathies lie with the truck driver, and all who had to deal with/witness this tragedy. It is a tragedy all round. There were family who loved this man, and did their best to help him.
    Sadly his state of mental health/addiction did not allow him to accept the help that he so desperately needed. It was not a deliberate decision to inflict pain and horror upon the driver in particular. This man in his altered mental state was clearly not able to think rationally. No one in their “right” mind commits this type of horrific act.
    I am sure I am not alone in saying, over the years I have experienced the deaths/suicides of many good hearted people. In unimaginable ways. Leaving their pain behind, and leaving those left behind, in pain.
    Some people cannot be helped on this earth.
    To the truck driver, life goes on. Keep trucking, support your family. Love yourself, and forgive this man for the pain he inflicted upon you.
    Good luck to you.

  • Adam,
    So sorry to read this heart wrenching story. I am writing about this topic for Overdrive and would love to talk to you if possible. Or, if any of the commenters here who have experience suicide by truck. We need to raise awareness about the horrible aftermath that truckers suffer when someone makes this suicide choice. Thanks so much.
    cmagner@randallreilly.com

  • 3 years ago i had a guy from quebec kill himself under my trailer wheels by running a stop sign on 22 x near calgary. The company i drove for blamed me. I was cleared at the scene by rcmp. Its been 3 years since i drove semi after 31 years of long haul. I now own a hot shot and slow as i see vehicles come up to intersections.

  • If a person who is suicidal thought about what his attempt would cause others, he or she would not do it if they were in a rational frame of mind. Suicide is mostly the result of a mental illness, hence the lack of rational thinking at the time of peak despair. If they could have thought about it’s results to others, it would mean they were not desperate. No suicidal person is capable or intends to hurt others. Their need at that second is to solely to move toward a solution to their suffering and that is all they can see or need at that time, nothing else. If they could come back from the grave in a mentally healthy state, they would be deeply sorry, shocked and regretful to those they unintentionally hurt.