Dear Kelly,

I am a fairly new trucker’s girlfriend. We have been together for four years and he started driving about a year ago.

I found that I have adjusted quite well to him being away, considering the mess I was the first few months.

My problem now is that he is gone for two to three weeks at a time and when he is home for more than a couple of days, he is making me nuts.

I can totally relate to the fact that it is still his home too when he is here, but he seems to be pushing me over and forgetting that I do it all alone when he is on the road.

An example – the mail came the other day and when I brought it in, he actually took it out of my hands to go through it first.

I know this is a small thing, but I feel like I am a visitor in my own home when he is here.

I don’t like feeling that resentment when he is home, because my heart still breaks when he walks out the door to go back on the road.

Do you have any ideas that can help me cope when he is home with his possessive behavior in the house?

Feeling pushed aside

Dear Feeling pushed aside,

I have found that although those of us left at home do it all when they are away, they still want to feel “needed” at home.

My husband is coming home tonight to begin his five days off stretch.

The luxury only happens every three or four months and it’s something I look forward to, but also something I don’t look forward to.

It’s very hard to give up running the house when you usually do it all alone.

If you can, try to save a few things for him to do when he comes home.

If he’s going to be home for any amount of time, try a small list on the fridge of things that need working on when he has time.

Put a few things on the list that could use some work, but don’t necessarily have to be done right away.

I would love for my outside windows to be cleaned, the trim on the garage to be painted and a few other things around the house done.

I could most likely do them myself, but they aren’t a priority.

Truckers are away a lot and live in a truck for days or weeks at a time.

I think it’s as natural as can be for a person to want to feel “at home,” when they finally park the wheels and walk into their “castle.”

It’s easy to feel pushed aside, but try to imagine how he feels walking into a house that he sees less of than the inside of the truck.

A good idea would be to have a chat with him about how you feel and work together to come up with some ideas that will keep both of you happy in your home. Kelly

– I encourage you to send in your questions and comments. I will try to answer as many questions as I can here. Feel free to write me at column@atruckerswife.com.