Dear Kelly,

I am having a really hard time with my boys lately.

Maybe it’s just the summer heat, but they have been almost uncontrollable when my husband isn’t home. They are 11 and 13.

My husband has been driving since they were two and four, so it isn’t like this is anything new to them.

I have been timing them out in their bedrooms, making them do extra chores and I took them to the bookstore and let them each buy a couple of new books hoping that would keep them busy.

They are constantly on each other all the time too.

They nag each other and bug each other until it’s almost a full blown fight.

As soon as their Dad gets home, they are angels, so he thinks I am crazy! Well, not really, but he can’t seem to understand how they can be so different when he isn’t home.

He had a talk with them, and he told me that they said they would behave better, but it isn’t happening.

I am at my wit’s end and don’t know what else to do. My husband is out for two weeks at a time, and that is a long while to be pulling my hair out.

I am not sure if this is something age-related, but the fact that they are so good when their Dad is home has me baffled.

11+13=1Crazy Mom

Dear 11+13=1 Crazy Mom,

Well, I am not a professional, just a regular mom/trucker’s wife/woman, but I would think that the sibling rivalry is somewhat of a normal, if not expected happening in most families.

The ages of your boys also indicates a time in their lives where they are experiencing changes and trying to find their place. I wouldn’t take it as a personal attack. Perhaps they are well behaved when your husband is home because they do not want to disappoint him.

They may be looking for that male acceptance and approval.

I see this in my boys already and they are quite a bit younger.

Some one-on-one time with you may help.

If one son is out at a friend’s house or has a friend over, do something with the other son.

On the flip side of that, something that the three of you can do together, like going to a movie (you sit in the middle) might help.

How about trying a project that you can all work on? Build a picnic table, or paint a room in the house.

Do something that they can say, “We did that!” for years to come.

I don’t think the teenage years are really easy for anyone, and having Dad away can’t make it any easier.

I hope that quality time, love and lots of patience can help turn this time into a wonderful and memorable experience in your lives.

Kelly

Dear Kelly,

My husband has put on a few pounds since heading out on the road.

He’s been driving for only two years so far and I am afraid that if he keeps it up, he’ll be huge in a few years.

Do you have any suggestions for lightweight snacks and food that he can eat on the road?

I am afraid that all that truck stop eating is not good for him.

I hope to get him a fridge soon, but for now, he only has a cooler and picks up ice at the truck stops.

Pleas give some ideas to help my hubbie!

Hubbie’s getting a belly

Dear Hubbie’s getting a belly,

Yes! I can understand this one! I started sending a lot of cut of veggies with my husband. I prepare all that I can at home so it is easy for him to munch on. I send mini carrots, celery sticks and peel and cut up cucumbers. Other ideas could be mushroom pieces, cauliflower, broccoli and just about any other vegetable that he will eat raw. Fruit is easy to grab and eat without much more than cleaning. A few low-fat crackers, cheese, healthy cereals (eaten dry or in a bowl with milk), granola bars, cereal bars and yogurt are a few more things.

I would highly recommend a way for him to heat foods in the truck as well if you can. You can find cooler/warmers that plug into a cigarette lighter for a reasonable price. You could then send a lot of homemade meal plates. Make extra when you prepare meals at home while he is away and freeze the meals on plates, ready for him to heat and eat. Hearty soups and stews in a can can be a good alternative, and will be a treat when the weather isn’t so warm. Another suggestion for him; if he can stop and shop at a grocery store on the road to stock up, that will save a few pounds and also a few dollars in the long run!

Kelly

– I encourage you to send in your questions and comments. I will try to answer as many questions as I can here. Feel free to write me at column@atruckerswife.com.