Retirement plans may have to wait

by Rob Wilkins

As I write this column, the stock markets are taking yet another beating. The average Joe (or Joanne) who has been investing in the stock market has seen their retirement nest eggs become just a tad scrambled.

It looks like Greece is going to default on its debt by the end of next year. It’s amazing to think that such a small country can have such a huge effect on the world’s economies.

‘Freedom 55’ is quickly becoming an unrealistic goal for most people. Financial investment programs aimed at achieving early retirement should really update their programs to reflect the times.

‘Fat Chance 55’ comes to mind.

As some of you know, I’m just back to work after being off six weeks recovering from surgery. I had a sample of what life is like waking up every day without anything constructive to do.

Here’s a shock: It wasn’t fun. In fact, I was bored to tears. I think when (if) the time does come when I am ready financially and mentally to retire, there’s got to be a reason for me to get out of bed.

In case you were wondering what those reasons could be, here you are.

My retirement activity wish list goes something like this:

  • I get up each day and play as much golf as humanly possible without getting a divorce;
  • I take my lovely wife out on the town to “the Bingo” twice a week. There I master the fine art of playing four cards at a time (without constantly asking the person next to me what the last number and letter was);
  • I win at said “the Bingo” and use the money to supplement my meager income;
  • I call my friend John at least once a week to talk about how my Leafs beat his Habs in the seventh game of the 2023 Stanley Cup playoffs;
  • And finally, I call my friend Rob to talk about how my Leafs beat his Bruins in the seventh game of the 2024 Stanley Cup playoffs. Sweet, now that’s living!

I’m praying that the Canada Pension Plan and Old Age Security programs we’re entitled to will still be available when it’s my turn to collect.

Unfortunately, I doubt “the Bingo” is going to supplement much of my income. Not when you’re up against the experienced grandmothers I’d be playing against.


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