I know that in the past I’ve blasted Ma Bell about her service problems. I really hate to sound like a broken record but I’ve had another setback with the grand old lady.

We moved offices some seven months ago. I’m behind on sending out my change of address notices so since I’m a man of the electronic age, I thought I’d try and do it online.

Here’s my conversation with Janice and Jennifer, online chat representatives:

Janice: Hello and welcome to Bell Home Phone chat service. My name is Janice, how may I help you today?

Me: Hi Janice, just want to change my billing address.

Janice: Not a problem, I can definitely help you change your billing address. In order to best assist you, may I have your first name, last name and home telephone number including the area code?

Me: This is for my cell phone billed to Rob Wilkins (I gave her my old address).

Janice: I’m sorry, but you have reached the Bell Home Phone department. For better assistance, I’m going to connect the chat to our Mobility department. Please Wait.

Jennifer: Hello and welcome to Bell Mobility’s chat service. How can I help you?

Me: I would like to change my billing address.

Jennifer: May I have your e-mail address on your account?

Me: rwilkins@trucknews.com

Jennifer: I don’t see an e-mail address. How about your home number?

Me: If you don’t see one then why did you ask me for it? (I was polite, that was my inside voice).

Me: My home numbers is (I gave it to her). I’m with Rogers, Jennifer! How about my work number? 416-510-5123.

Jennifer: That isn’t the number I have on your account.

Me: But that is my number! Okay, I’ve been with you for years. Try 416-442-2097, but that’s really old!

Jennifer: That’s not it either. What about your work number?

Me: I already gave you my work number! I have another very old number, if that doesn’t work I give up. (I gave her that number).

Jennifer: What type of phone do you have Rob?

Me: It’s an iPhone.

Jennifer: What generation?

Me: Three…my cell number is (I gave it to her thinking this would help).

Jennifer: I’m unable to assist you since none of the information you have provided appears on your profile…blah, blah, blah.

Me: Jennifer, my account number is (I gave it to her), my invoices are currently being sent to 12 Concorde Place., Suite 800, Toronto, Ont., M3C 3R8. My new address is 80 Valleybrook Dr., Toronto, ON., M3B 2S9. If that isn’t enough I don’t know what is.

Jennifer: You need to contact Client Care.

Me: Client care? Client care? I can’t believe you use those two words in the same sentence. Good grief. (Okay, it was a little stronger than ‘good grief’).

Me: At the very least you’ve given me some great material for my next column. Goodbye Jennifer!

Next I’ll try sending them something called a “change of address” and see what happens.

Stay tuned!