November 29, 2017 Vol. 14 No. 243

Tesla, Tesla, Tesla… have any of us heard the name often enough in the last week or so? Whatever else you may think about all this hoopla, you have to admire Elon Musk for his ability to make a splash. Masterful.

Along with three other cynical trucking journalists I watched the introduction of the Tesla Semi via streaming video on an iPad tablet at a patio bar in Guadalajara, Mexico. We all agreed that our vantage point was perfect, much better than being amidst the cheering throng at the launch venue in California. We had strong drink and cigarettes at the ready, for one thing, and we were 100% content to let the Elon fan club do its thing without us some 2400 km due north.

We laughed in unison when Mr. Musk opened his presentation with a graphic that proclaimed the Tesla Semi could do 0 to 60 mph in five seconds unladen, 20 seconds with a full 80,000-lb load. We asked each other, who the heck cares?

We laughed somewhat louder when he told the world that the Semi’s windshield could withstand a nuclear blast. Great, we agreed, but too bad there won’t then be a driver to look through it.

Our first collective conclusion? That the truck and its launch were calculated solely to attract Wall Street’s attention. Very, very few details about the truck were offered that night, so there was no obvious appeal to the truck-buying community. Except for the claim that its operating cost per mile was 20% lower than a diesel-engined rig, but that was just a statement with no tangible proof to back it up, nor any calculations to demonstrate how the promise might hold water.

Wall Street doesn’t much care about details, of course.

Smartassery aside, what are the takeaways?

ARE NIKOLA AND CUMMINS WINNERS? Sitting around that table in Guadalajara, four motor noters watching a big event on a small screen, I tried hard to quell the cynic in me and to assess just what we were seeing. First off, no truck introduction has ever been like this, and I’ve seen a lot of ’em. The introduction of Daimler Mexico’s new cabover the night before, the ‘360’, was itself a spectacular event but there were no fanboys cheering and jostling to get closer to the stage. The Musk event was more like the inane excitement at an iPhone unveiling.