Okay, I am brand new to this on the road thing and I have a question.
Every time I call my husband he is super distracted, or he tells me he has to call me back when he has better service, stops for fuel, gets out of traffic, etc.
It’s driving me nuts and I am starting to think that we are not a priority to him anymore. Sometimes I will wait hours only to have him say he can only talk for a minute, or have him get mad at me because I am so frustrated! Am I crazy? Is this a jerky husband thing, or a trucker thing that I need to get used to? I am completely clueless!
– Just wanna talk
Dear Just wanna talk,
I would first like to welcome you to the wonderful, topsy turvy, wacky life of a trucker’s wife!
You are not crazy, and I think it is a safety thing and not necessarily a jerky husband or trucker thing. I truly believe that cell phones being used while driving are a hazard. They can be very distracting while trying to navigate a huge truck and trailer. They really do need to concentrate on driving every second they are behind the wheel. By not talking to you on the phone while he is driving, he is staying safer and making it home to you, so that does make you the priority.
The next time you talk to him, ask if he could make a time each day to call home and spend some quality minutes talking to you. It doesn’t have to be long if he’s crunched for time; it just has to be good time.
One thing that I have learned is heated conversations on the phone are not a good habit to get into. Sometimes, it’s unavoidable; some things just can’t wait, but try as much as you both can to keep conversations on a more positive note. Remember, if he’s waited all day to call you, he’s probably looking forward to hearing your sweet voice after a lonely day on the open road.
My problem is that it is very hard to have my husband leave. I am very lucky compared to many women, because mine is only gone one week at a time. I have a very busy day, but I find the nights soooooo long. I complain a lot and I just don’t want to do that anymore. How can I make it easier for both of us?
– Lonely nights
Dear Lonely nights,
Yes, the nights are most definitely the hardest for most. I will address the two parts of the night for you here as I feel they each have their own challenges.
Evenings, from after dinner until bedtime, can be long and drawn out when you are alone. If keeping busy during the day works for you, then try keeping busy in the evening as well.
Make a point of calling friends and family just to chat every now and then.
Invite a friend over for coffee and bake a yummy carrot cake or banana loaf.
Pick a project that you can do in your home. It could be scrap booking or organizing photos, a carpentry project, a correspondence course, painting or anything that requires you to get involved.
Go for a brisk walk. Although it gives you more time to think, it can be very revitalizing and will give you energy to do those projects that you are thinking about!
If your husband can, arrange an evening call time when he can call you just to talk. No complaining about things that happened that day, just a nice light chat. Chat about what you did during your day and read him a joke or two. This could help you both out by making you both feel closer to each other.
If you have young children, you could arrange a craft time after dinner, pull out the Lego or just do something fun together. If you have older children, ask them what they might like to do. This is a really good time to get closer to them.
Making that decision to crawl into bed, alone, is a little harder. Having the evening a little happier may help at this time.
Try crawling into bed before it’s actually time to go to sleep. Take your time getting ready too. Get yourself a book to read, start a journal or maybe a crochet project to work on. Set a time to spend on this, perhaps half an hour or so. I find that doing something relaxing, that I do need to focus on, makes it easier to fall asleep.
Whatever you find to keep your mind off being lonely, be sure that it is something that you are enjoying. Being more relaxed at night and having things to fill your time, will mean less complaining and will bring you and those you love closer together.
I encourage you to send in your questions and comments. I will try to answer as many questions as I can here. Feel free to write me at firstname.lastname@example.org.