I have been reading your column each month. I think it’s quite lovely. I have a question about my husband and how I can help him to handle being away a little better.
We do not have any children yet, so it is just the two of us, and when he calls me from the road, he seems so lonely.
He has been doing this almost a year now and it has gotten better, but I know he tries to hide it too, so I am not sure how he really feels all the time.
I miss him awfully, but try not to let it show too much.
He took this job to help save money for a house and I don’t want to add any pressure to him. Do you have any suggestions on how I can help him to feel not so alone?
– My man is missing me
Dear My man is missing me,
Thank you for the sweet comments! The first thing I suggest is talk with him about this.
Does he know how much you miss him? You may think that it is helping to hide it, but letting him know that you miss him too, may make him feel not so alone.
Can you go with him on a trip once in a while?
If you aren’t working, or have some holiday time, hopping in the truck for a trip with him could be fun!
Send something personal or special with him. Something that you know will make him feel special and loved and thought of.
Buy a book of stamps for him. Ask him to buy and send you postcards from places that he stops when he can.
This will give him and opportunity to write quick notes on them and to say to you some of the things that he may not say over the phone.
It will also be a really nice keepsake and a record of his travels. Thirty years from now, it will sure be something wonderful that you two will have to look back on.
Speaking of the phone, do you talk often? Perhaps it may help to change how your phone calls normally go?
Find some good jokes and keep them by the phone. Tell him a joke every time you talk. If you normally say a quick “I love you” or “I miss you” during the call, turn that comment around into a “You know, I really, really love you” or an “I miss you so much and can hardly wait until you are home.”
If you don’t have a cell phone, you may want to consider that.
Can he take a pet with him? Perhaps a furry friend on the road that he can talk to would help.
Tuck little things into his clothing or other things he is sure to use. A card, a note, a photo, a new t-shirt, a package of gum, a pencil or anything that would not normally be in his bag.
Finding these small trinkets will be fun for him and he will know that you are thinking of him.
Yours is really not an easy letter to answer. The one behind the wheel has so many hours to think as they drive.
We at home can keep busy doing things, even just reading a book can be a break from thinking about our partner.
Doing things that remind him of you may not seem like the answer to him not missing you, but they may help him to know that you miss him too, and you are in this together.
I heard a song on the radio the other day that was talking about truckers and driving.
They were using all kinds of trucker words. I asked my husband about some of them that I could remember, but he didn’t even know all of them. Do you know where I can find out what they mean? The ones he didn’t know were swindle sheets and chicken coops. Do you know of a song like that?
– Wanna talk trucker
Dear Wanna talk trucker,
I am pretty sure the song you are referring to is ‘Convoy.’
It was originally performed by C.W. McCall in the mid-’70s, but has been recently released by Paul Brandt.
Swindle sheets are actually logbooks and chicken coops are weigh stations.
If you have Internet access, you can do a search for “trucker talk” or “CB slang” and you will find many places that have lists and explanations. You should also be able to find books, just ask at your local bookstore.
– Kelly n
– I encourage you to send in your questions and comments. I will try to answer as many questions as I can here. Feel free to write me at firstname.lastname@example.org.