A trucker’s wife: Keeping Mother’s Day special on any day of the year

by Kelly Livingstone

Dear Kelly,

This is the first year that my husband has been driving and also the first year that we may be separated for Mother’s Day. For 12 years now, he has made this the most special day of the year for me and my son. I am so afraid that he may not be here for this one. Do you have any ideas that can help us prepare for this one or things that I can plan to do without him here?

Missing Mother’s Day

Dear Missing Mother’s Day,

My first suggestion would be to move the celebration to a day when he is home. We move holidays around a lot here to accommodate our life. We find that if you are expecting to celebrate it on another day, the actual day doesn’t seem to go by so badly.

Your other choice, if that isn’t something you fancy, would be to prepare in advance. If he normally made your meals, he could purchase gift certificates for a restaurant and you and your son could go out to eat. Little things could be placed around the house for you before he leaves. He can place a list in an envelope that you are not to open until the day; then, you can go around and find all the hiding spots. Be sure to call him or have him call you on Mother’s Day. Just knowing how much he is thinking of you, although you may feel sad at first missing his being there, will make the day special in its own way.

No matter how you choose to celebrate, do something out of the ordinary with your son. Take in a movie, or go throw a ball around at the park. Celebrate being his mother!



Dear Kelly,

I need some advice for my husband.

He has tried to quit smoking I don’t know how many times, with no success. He’s in the process of trying again. He’s been a day and a half with no nicotine and really starting to get edgy. I have tried everything I can to support him. I don’t care if he’s a bear (or worse), he just HAS to quit. I need some helpful tips that I can give to him, and things I can do for him to support him.

Needing a healthy husband

Dear Needing a healthy husband,

This is a really hard thing for truckers. Most of their bad habit is probably consumed while they are behind the wheel.

If possible, get him to a doctor and they can offer professional advice for a nicotine replacement. Some of the stop smoking products have side effects that may not be good for someone who drives for a living, but things can affect folks differently. Cold turkey may work for some, but with all the options out there, it is best to see a doctor for a way to help ease the transition with the least amount of pressure.

Send along lots of healthy, low calorie munchies! Pack a cooler full of carrot and celery sticks, rice cakes or anything else low calorie that you can think of that he will eat. Send lots of gum. Choose a sugar free gum.

You do not want food to become the replacement for smoking, but in the beginning, this may help the craving by offering a healthy alternative.

Have him make a list of why he needs to quit, and why he wants to quit.

Have him place the cigarette money in an envelope for a predetermined amount of time, then go out and buy something special with that money. It’s amazing how much money he will save in just a month.

He knows he needs to quit, and it needs to be his decision. Be proud and supportive when he asks for it. Quitting is not an easy thing to do, and loving encouragement can help, but don’t nag.

Health Canada offers extensive articles and information. (http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/hecs-sesc/tobacco/index.html). They even have toll-free telephone quit-smoking lines listed on their Web site.

You can contact them during office hours at this number, 1-866-318-1116 if you don’t have Web access.

The Canadian Cancer society has wonderful tips and ideas on their Web site. (http://www.cancer.ca/). They have a toll free number listed as well and provincial offices that may be able to assist you. (1-888-939-3333).

Good luck, and here’s to a healthy start for your man!


– I encourage you to send in your questions and comments. I will try to answer as many questions as I can here. Feel free to write me at column@atruckerswife.com.

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