For anyone attending shows and conventions over the past few years, there’s very little chance you haven’t seen a presentation or 10 on sleep apnea.

It’s been one of the most popular topics so far in the 2000s. I wonder why? I’m not questioning the potential seriousness of the problem, only why it took so long to be recognized as a life-threatening illness?

Recently, I had some major surgery (yeah, once again I drew the short straw). Anyway, natural course for surgical procedures is to go through a number of pre-op meetings with various specialists. Some calm your nerves while others scare the crap out of you. If there isn’t already such a thing, there really should be a course for our medical elite, training them on their presentation skills in this regard.

During one such session, I was visited by someone wanting to know if I experienced sleep apnea?

A quick curt “no, never” was my response. A split second later a polite timid, “yes he does” came from my wife’s mouth.

“No I don’t,” “Yes you do” rattled around the small office for a few minutes. The poor girl who asked the question was a tad
embarrassed.

It finally ended, and I was scheduled for the dreaded test. (Okay, my wife won but only because I figured you need to pick your fights and this one on a scale of one to 10 rated half a point. Besides, I was told it would be a long recovery and I figured I would remind her of this victory every time I rang my bedside bell).

What surprised me was that someone from the hospital was going to come to my house, wire me up, turn on the monitor and leave. How cool was that?

While everyone I know had to make the trip to the night hospital, they were going to come to me. Maybe that poor girl was trying to smooth over the problem she started in the first place, bless her heart.

The night arrived and I had a visit from a very nice man named Bob. He wired me up, gave me instructions and left. I swear I didn’t sleep a wink that night. A few weeks later I received a letter informing me I was apnea free. Told her so!

So there you have it, no sleep apnea and a successful surgery. Now, if I could only find that bell.