Dear Kelly,

I worry so much about my husband when he is on the road.

I can handle being alone and I am very busy, but I find that when my thoughts go to him, I worry about accidents and stuff like that.

We got rid of our cell phones because I was constantly calling just to make sure that he was okay. Do you have any advice for someone like me?

Worrywart

Dear Worrywart,

This is another one I can relate to.

With our long winters and snow, the thought of accidents can easily become our main concern while our men are away. I would have to say that accidents could happen at anytime to anyone…truck drivers or not.

The question is how to not think about that fact. If your husband has been driving awhile and has not been in a serious accident, try and use that to keep your mind from wandering to concern.

If he has been in an accident and that is what makes you worry, try to remember that he is probably thinking about it too and is being careful to not let it happen again.

I believe in the fact that if something is meant to happen, it will; if it isn’t meant to happen, it won’t.

That said, you sitting at home worrying isn’t going to change anything, other than making it much harder on you.

The next time you think about it while he is away, stop if you can, close your eyes and picture him sitting in the driver’s seat, whistling to the radio and having a wonderful, safe trip out on the road.

Kelly

Dear Kelly,

We are newlyweds (eight months) and expecting our first child in May and I am so worried about my husband missing the birth.

I know that labour can be a long process the first time around, and he may make it home if he is close enough, but what if he is days away?

I have backup help for the birth, my sister has promised to be with me from beginning to end, so that isn’t a worry.

But I am just so emotional with the pregnancy and everything and I don’t want him to miss it. I should also say that he just started driving a few months ago to try and make a better life for us and it’s been a battle dealing with being pregnant and alone, but once the baby is here? Then what? I know that the pay is so much better with this job and he really loves to drive. Will I be able to handle a new baby?

Expecting in May

Dear Expecting in May,

Wow…what a way to start a new life! Congratulations on your marriage and the soon to be new baby! I am a mother of three and my husband started driving when I was pregnant with our third child and my middle child was only a year old. It isn’t easy, but you are going to have fun!

I will say that I truly hope your husband can make it for the birth. It is truly amazing and no matter how you look at it, it’s a miracle! Prepare for the fact that he will not make it and if he does, then it will be all that much better.

If you and your husband are comfortable with it, have someone take pictures, or set up a camera on a tripod to tape the birth. I wish I had done that for my children. Even with their daddy there to see it. Remember…we, the mothers, don’t actually get to see the birth.

Your husband will be there with you in your heart and also with your child.

He will probably be feeling more anxious about not being there for you, than about missing the birth. Reassure him that you missed him terribly, would have loved to have him there, but that you were alright.

After the baby arrives, have some type of support available to you should you need it.

It can be family and friends or a public health nurse you can call. Ask your doctor about this before the baby is born, I am sure that he or she can provide you with some resources if you should need them.

All the best as you begin your journey into motherhood; it is a wonderful road to travel.

Kelly

– I encourage you to send in your questions and comments. I will try to answer as many questions as I can here. Feel free to write me at column@atruckerswife.com.