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A Trucker’s Wife: How to Cope With Missing Your Hubby

Hello and welcome to my first column.



Hello and welcome to my first column.

My name is Kelly and I am a trucker’s wife. I stay at home with our three children and am the Web master for a Web site for trucker’s wives.

When Truck News asked me to write a column for them, I was honoured and so excited! I am hoping to use this column in the coming months, as a means to communicate with other trucker wives and girlfriends on issues that affect our lives. I would love to hear from you.

Please feel free to e-mail me at the address provided below (or via the link at www.trucknews.com) with any questions you have or issues that you may like to see covered in this column.

I’ll start this month with an issue that seems to be prevalent with most trucker wives I have spoken with: “How do I deal with being alone while he is on the road?”

Your trucker just walked out the door on his next road trip. You lean against the door, close your eyes and let out a sigh.

You are going to miss him so much and it seems like such a long time until he’ll walk back through that door again.

When my husband went on the road the first time, I cried myself to sleep for the first few nights. The evenings were so long, the children weren’t being very co-operative at bedtime and I began to feel sorry for myself. “How am I going to get through this?”

The answer isn’t the same for everyone and there is no “one thing” that makes it all better.

The more I speak with other trucker wives, the more I come to realize that there are a few basic things that we need to focus on to keep our lives running smoothly.

It can be a lonely life, if that’s what we make of it.

So much depends on us to do the best we can, with what we have.

It isn’t easy, but a positive attitude is crucial. Remember that you have a wonderful man who is out on the road, working hard to bring home a paycheck, and that he too, misses you.

Come up with a positive thought and write it down, stick it on the fridge where you can see it when you are feeling down.

It can be a quote, something your trucker said to you or any type of positive affirmation as to why he is on the road in the first place.

Speak to other trucker wives if you can, being in touch with women who are in the same situation can be quite therapeutic.

Having a support system is wonderful for those times when you are feeling down and need someone to talk to.

Keeping busy can help. Go out for coffee or a movie once in a while with a friend or two. Enroll your children in swimming classes or skating lessons and go along with them.

Join a gym, volunteer, take up a hobby or maybe even go back to school if you can.

Don’t feel bad if you need to have a good cry.

Flop down on the bed, grab his pillow and let it out. Then get up, take a long bubble bath, make a nice cup of tea, get a good book and settle into your favourite chair for a little relaxation.

It’s not healthy to deny how we feel, so if you are missing him, by all means miss him, just don’t make it the focus of your day to day life.

Keep in touch with your trucker while he is on the road. Just hearing his voice over the phone can be wonderful, or with today’s technology, e-mail, Web cams and voice conference are even possible with a laptop and an Internet connection.

Be sure to make the home time meaningful.

Your trucker will most likely be tired when he gets home, maybe even a little cranky.

Give him some space and try not to overwhelm him with all he has missed in the first five minutes.

I have found that asking about his trip and things that happened while he was on the road helps him to wind down and to get a conversation going.

Do things with him when you can, go on family outings or even get a babysitter and go out on a date.

The one thing that I have learned from other experienced trucker wives, is that time does make things easier.

In the beginning, it may seem desperately hopeless, but time moves forward and one day soon, you will look back and see how far you have come.

Keep yourself on the right track and in a healthy frame of mind. When your trucker is far from home, that doesn’t mean that your hearts aren’t close.

– Kelly Livingstone is the editor of ATruckersWife.com, a Web site dedicated to truckers’ wives and what’s important to them. You can e-mail her at column@atruckerswife.com. Or you can send your questions and comments via snail mail to: Letters, Truck News, 12 Concorde Place, Suite 800, Toronto, Ont. M3C 4J2


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55 Comments » for A Trucker’s Wife: How to Cope With Missing Your Hubby
  1. Nury SOlis says:

    Hi my name is Nury an a truckers wife for almost 16yrs same time we have been married. We have two wonderful kids girl and boy 17 tth and 15th. I just want to share a little of my story. It has been really hard both both my husband till this day has always been good to our kids and my self he has a caring heart ans when I have those days where I need Soo much I just think about him and the moments we spend together then i find my self with a big SMAil e:-):-):-) and I thak God for having such hard working and awesome man in my life even if it little moments…… when you LOVe somebody you can find the straight. I was with him on the road if you want to be on his shoes one day or one week be sure to try this . My husband actally enjoyed the company and me too you get the chance to reinvent your self and appreciate more and more. Thank you reading this lines it is the first time I do this I just need to talk and share with people that are in the same situation ..so please be happy and don’t forget to say I love you everyday… God bless you all….

  2. Nicki says:

    Hi I am new to this. My husband just started escort driving for a trucker that we know. He’s been gone all last week and this week so far. He did get to come home for the weekend which was a blessing. I have 3 children ages 8 and 5 and 1. I am trying my hardest to stay strong and busy at home and with the kids. I think I am doing rather well but its not easy by any means. Night time is the hardest and i cry a lot. I try nit to call him too much because I don’t want to bother him when he’s driving but I do wish he would call more often or maybe be a little more excited to come home because I am thrilled when I know he’s coming home. I text him a fee times throughout the day but most times I don’t get a reply back and it really hurts my feelings. I tell him how much I love him and how great he is and he says nothing back. I really love my husband and appreciate all thaat he’s doing but it feels like he doesn’t even think about me when he’s gone…

    • Adelaida Rivera says:

      I’m going to go to this since with you Asian me and my boyfriend started leaving together 3 months ago and he’s deciding to the trucking I am already broken missing him and is very emotional to me knowing that he’s leaving me alone

      • Adelaida Rivera says:

        you’re my boyfriend also going to get married full he go Trucking I feel like that’s right I don’t know what to do I wish I could change his mind but that’s what he wants to do I cannot stop him I’m so hurt to see him go very soon we planning to get married next month I need to leaving by July it’s devastating I don’t know what to expect and I don’t know what’s going to happen I just so afraid

  3. Jennifer says:

    Hi all, I am new here to this truck driving thing. My now hubby and I just got married about a month ago before he went on the road and it has been sooooo hard :(… we have been together for 4 years now and would do EVERYTHING together (no kids) and now it is totally different.. he went on the road for about 3 weeks after we got married for training and then came home for about 5 days and now has left and doesn’t know when he will be back and I just don’t think I can do this. I was fine for the first few weeks but after he came home for those days and left it must have just made it harder.. its just my cat and I at home and I have a job about 2 minutes from home which I try to work as much as I can but don’t want to burn myself out, so when I’m not working I just sit at home and listen to music, maybe go on the computer or go outside and take some pictures since I’m really into photography but other than work and sit at home I don’t do anything and I just don’t think this life is for me I cannot take it…. everyday is so hard and I don’t ever want to get up out of bed because there is no point when you have nothing to do.. I know this is kind of a sob story but I am so frustrated and sad and I hate complaing to my hubby because there isn’t anything he can do about it, he needs to be out there supporting us and our future but I just don’t think I can take it anymore so I am totally open to learn how you ladies cope with the lonliness.
    THANK YOU so much in advance –Jennifer

    • Gina says:

      If u have other family around like your dad, mom, sister, aunt, cousin, or anyone on his side of the family that u get along with, call them weekly and make plans to go out to eat together. Do this with co-workers too. Since u like to take pictures, go to parks in your area or travel to new places to get some fun shots. Think about starting a new hobby, join a gym or go walking outside each day. Go shopping and get your hair fixed up routinely, and then send pics to your hubby. Decorate your home or do some volunteer work. The key is to stay busy and know your trucker loves you.

    • Adelaida Rivera says:

      Seeing your message and this page made me feel like I know I’m going to go to the same thing always been a very happy person seeing my husband-to-be soon happy and laughing and doing everything together he was the most happy thing in my life he decided to go Trucking also and he’s leaving in july I do not know how I’m going to cope with this either feel like screaming I feel like I need to go on the cruise go away do something to myself not to feel hurt as much as I feel but he talked to me and he said that he’s doing it for us itsy really for us confuse I feel like I’m going through depression right now I don’t know what to do right now he have a job that he get paid good morning or he want to be a trucker you have spoke to somebody who ate his mine and that’s what he want to do and I feel I can not change his mind and we getting married before he goes in the road I need somebody to tell me something made me feel good mentally cuz right now I don’t I feel depressed very depressed

    • Lonely truckers fiancé says:

      Hey girl I know how you feel I’m going though the Same thing don’t wanna get outta bed no kids only a puppy I don’t go out anywhere I’m trying to find a job and it’s just so lonely and I miss my fiancé so so much he came for a visit yesterday and only got to visit yesterday and had to go back on the road today and I haven’t seen him for two months and after he left I’ve been bawling like crazy I haven’t even felt like eating

    • Angie says:

      I’m new to this to girl.. I feel your pain. I mad a major meltdown last night and in that meltdown it made me think that I’m not cut out for this life either but I also had to remember that he loves me just as much, if not more, than I love him and just because he’s not having a meltdown doesn’t mean he doesn’t mean that he isn’t missing me too!!
      Don’t give up. I’ve only been at this for 7 weeks so I’m REALLY new at this but I honest feel that if you two are married, thosevows are for better or worse… just like my guy, i believe that’s my soul mate, you know how you automatically know that someone is destined for you? In reading your post, I believe that you are destined for each other. Pick up your camera & renew your love for photography!! You can do this girl!! Keep the faith!!!

  4. Shellie says:

    Recently married and recent home owner my husband is gone for 2 weeks at a time recently
    And we only have 3 days together when he’s home which he has to split between me and our 2 kids.
    I’m starting to break down I feel like I’m doing it all on my own and I hate this. I actually think I started talking
    To myself and what’s even scarier is I was answering. How do I make this easier?

    • Amanda says:

      Hello Shellie, this is my fist time on this sit and I have just been reading and reading. When I started reading your post it sounds so much like my story and just wanted to say hello and tell you a little bit of my story. I married the love of my life in Oct of this year and we have only be together 3 years. When I first meet him he was OTR but two week after we meet me and my 18 months old son went over the road with him for 3 months only coming home every other weekend to see his 3 girls for only 3 days. About a year after being together we bought a house and had a baby together, meanwhile he was driving local. He just went back over the road about 3 week ago and wont be home till after the first of the year!!! I feel like im going crazy all I want to do is lay around and cry but then I look at our kids and know I have to get up and stay strong for them.. I dont think being without our men will ever get easier, I think we just have to learn how to look at it in a different perspective and realize that this is not forever its just for right now. Our men are sacrificing a lot more than us, they are stuck in a truck for hours no bathroom, truck stop food, and they have to go to bed alone just like we do.. But before we know it they will be home with us all the time and we will look back on these day and wonder why we wanted them him all the time..lol Praying for your Trucker and your family

  5. Anna says:

    Hi y’all I am new to being a truckers girlfriend. I have been with my driver for a few months and we plan on getting married later on down the road but right now it’s so hard. He is gone for months at a time and I try to keep busy to pass the time till I talk to him again but it’s not working. I get very depressed and I don’t know what to do. Is there anything y’all suggest that I might be able to do to help me?

  6. Emma says:

    This helps a lot. my husband just started 8 weeks of training and it seem like its been forever (Really only two weeks) 🙁 We have a 10month old and she is our world and I don’t like to get sad or upset that he is gone bc then she gets like that too(funny). We talk when we can. My mother in law is also a trucker wife and she has helped so much!

    • Ericka says:

      My husband just transitioned from active duty air force to otr driving. We also have two children a 6 year old and a 6 month old, and I am a nurse full time. I would love to make connections with other trucker wives

      • raquel says:

        my hubby has been gone from the first week of oct till chrisamess i have a 6 and a 9 year old . when he first went my lil girl was 4 . and he did for a year . and had to stop . now he back at it . he dos teem driveing. it a lot you be come a singel mom .

      • Devastated says:

        Your post reminds me of myself. We married just after my husband got out of the military. Our 2 boys were 6 years apart. My husband was OTR when they were little. He missed the birth of our first son. He was gone 3 weeks at A time and home 3 days. I am also a nurse. We have now been married 32 years. He started driving local when our oldest son was in high school so he was able to make it to most of the kids sporting even and milestones. Our boys are now grown and have families of their own. I can’t retire yet. I carry the health insurance and we’ll have to rely on my retirement for both of us. I am also taking care of my 99 y/o Grandmother 3days and 3 nights each week. My husband is planning to go back to OTR trucking because of recent cuts where he is leased onto. I am devastated. I just don’t want to go back to that at this time in our lives. I am slightly comforted that at least this time around, we have cell phones. Before, I just had to wait for him to call me. He keeps telling me he only plans to do this for 5 years to pay off our house, but all I can think about is that we can’t get these years back.

      • Laura says:

        Hi i am a truckers wife, we have been together for 10 years and have 5 kids together. He just started driving truck in August and i am trying to be supportive but its so hard when all i want is for him to find a new job and come home. I feel like he gave up our family to run arround the country and i know thats not true but its so hard when im so upset and angry at him for being gone and only get to see him 4 days every 3 weeks thats not enough and im having a really hard time adjusting to this

  7. Angela says:

    Ive been with my husband for 5 years, hes an otr driver home 1-2days per week, as with me its not a good situation..i dont work i have no drivers license do to my health and my kids live with there dad so i see them e/o wknd, where im stuggling is what do i do with my time…i dont have children to fill every day i cant drive so i see no one im about an hour to two hrs away from friends and family, and i feel myself getting sucked into this black whole which is weeping into my marriage and the last thing my husband needs to worry about is me falling apart….what can i do please help….

    • Betty Monci says:

      If I was in your situation Angela I would definitely be on the road with him. I met my boyfriend now fiancee one year ago and I am a stay at home mom with my 14 and 16 year old kids. I help him run his company since he owns this small carrier company which is very rewarding and keeps me busy. It also makes him appreciate me more. But if I had no children to look after, which I adore, don’t get me wrong. But I do get depressed at times and keeping myself busy with his paperwork and my kids. I have gone on the road with him and I absolutely love it. Just being with him from city to city made it very worthwhile.

  8. Amanda Simmons says:

    My fiance is an OTR truck driver. He was my high school sweetheart. We went our own ways and after twenty years apart per say…we got back together….the relationship can get Rocky. There are times I don’t hear from him for awhile. I pray. I read my bible. We text Good Mornings every day. We tell each other that we love each other. I dont call him due to the fact I don’t want to bother him. He tries to call at least once a day. I am thankful for that. Yes I get depressed and miss him so much. We were close in high school just like we are now. Its tough on him too. He misses us just as much. He is out there making a living. I’m very appreciative for that.

  9. Sarah says:

    Hi I am have been married to my husband for 18 years. We have 4 beautiful wonderful kids, and I am a stay at home mom. My husband has been in the trucking industry for over 20 years. He started doing long haul recently and I find myself missing him desperately! I have found some things that help… Calling 2 times a day (sometimes conference call with the kids). Getting busy with a project ie organizing the space that is impossible to do with him there. Getting together 1-2 times per week with friends. Planning outings with my kids just with mom times. Volunteering 1 per week at the school. Doing any research for my husband as needed when he calls ie checking weather patterns and reports, checking load boards. Last but not least when I feel really down I make a list of all the things that I need to be thankful for. When my husband calls I stay positive and cheer him on, because he is out there missing our family too! my husband has worked for several different companies, the best ones will recognize that your hubby needs to have decent home times.

  10. Mary Eckardt says:

    Hello. My name is mary. I have been married to a trucker for 8 years now. I have three kid a girl that is 11, an boy that is 8 and a 1 year old boy. It gets really hard because sometimes he could be home everyother day but most times he will be gone all week usually he is home on the weekends. There are times I will not see him for weeks at a time. He was an over the road driver when we got together he would only be home for 2 to 4 days each month. He does the job to take care of us but it hurts me because I know he would be much happier if he was home everynight. I miss him so much.

  11. Bre says:

    I’ve been with my truck driver for almost 10 months and married to him for almost 6 months. I knew what I was signing up for when I met him. But it is still very hard. I do get to ride with him during the week sometimes when I don’t have my kids or the grandbaby (his granddaughter). I do a lot to keep busy but it’s still difficult to keep my mind off my hubby. I know he’s working hard to make a great life for us. But I just long to be in the comfort of his arms. To play video games with him, talk to him, just be next to him. Im lucky to see him once a week, if that. Unless I ride with him. He just left tonight for another load after getting home at 3 this morning. And he slept the better part of the day. So not much time spent with him. I just really miss him.

  12. Lisa says:

    my truck driver husband is away a week at a time with weekends off, we have a 5 and half year old child . Sometimes it’s difficult I live an hour away from my family and his family is across the country, there are good days and bad days. What helps me most is our texting and calling just to say hi.. How’s your day.. I’ve been with him since 2009, but our first anniversary is this year in Aug. I knew what I was signing up with him, gone a lot and being lonely, but having pictures around the house reminds me what we have is very special then most married couples who always together 24 to 7. Missing my husbAnd reminds me how much I am in love with him,how much he means to our child and I. How much with life struggles he’s words he says lasts a life time when he’s not around in my thoughts. Yes I am a truckers wife and I’m proud to be one .

  13. Jay says:

    Amazing that this web page even exists!! Hi everyone I’m Jaquita engaged to be married to my trucker this August! I miss him so much he left for training 3 almost 4 weeks ago he has about 4 weeks left I was so happy when his trainer allowed him to stop through and spend a few hours with me before their next pickup.it just seems like when he popped in for those few hours I was so happy but once he left it got hard all over again! I miss him so much! But I can’t imagine my life without him. We video chat when possible and like previous posts I have read we get a phone call in at least once a day. I try not to bother him I want him as safe and focused as possible. Being in college helps but when I’m finished with schoolwork and night starts to set in that’s when I miss him most. I just miss h lying next to me at night . But I am proud of my trucker & wouldn’t trade him for anything!

  14. Kim says:

    My trucker husband and I have been married a little over a year now. I am a fleet manager for a trucking company and deal with truckers every day. Extremely stressful job I might add! Anyway, I was my husband’s fleet manager. That is how we met. I always said there was no way I would ever marry a truck driver because I wouldn’t be able to stand being apart so much. But here I am, married to the most wonderful man in the world. And I miss him desperately. It has not gotten easier. In fact, sometimes it feels as if it has gotten harder. Yesterday tragedy struck and my nephew was killed in an accident. It has rocked my family’s world. Grief is tough. Even tougher when you have to deal alone. My husband is 2000 miles away, haven’t seen him in 3 weeks, don’t know when he will get a load home. It’s 2:00 in the morning and I can’t sleep. It’s times like this that are just downright awful. I really could use his strong shoulders right now. We talk several hours a day on the phone but it just isn’t the same. What I need is to bury my face in his shoulder and just cry.

  15. Felicita says:

    My trucker boyfriend has left out on the road…. 🙁
    He will be out for weeks, sometimes 2 months. He said he needed space to get it together and has nothing to do with ne, nor does he want to brake up. Wft does space mean, and what should I say when we get on the phone. Can i even send a tex? Help me. Im very new to this lifestyle being iv only known him 1 year but recently we’ve gotten very very close so what do I do???

  16. Michele says:

    My husband is an OTR truck driver. He was driving when we met, we were friends for years before we dated and then married. My situation is a little different, I was also a driver in the past. I am now my husband’s dispatcher. He used to be so loving and positive. Nowadays, he’s hateful during most if our conversations, which leads to a lot of arguments. I listen to complaints all day long at work and can’t even have be a phone call with my husband without it. I love him more everyday but some days are way easier than others. He doesn’t get excited to come anymore. I clean all day on Fridays so he comes home to a clean home, then he gets mad if I sound excited to see him. I mean how dare I. Ugh. It seems like all we do is argue, this job has changed the man that I married and not for the better. Any ideas on how to get this marriage back on track, before it completely derails?

  17. Brandi says:

    My husband decided to become an OTR truck driver 2 months ago without even asking how I felt about it. I’m a very affectionate person and have a strong desire for physical affection and quality time together. He claims to share this desire, yet here we are going weeks at a time with no physical contact and very little phone contact. The first few weeks I stayed in my motel room after work, only leaving to go to church. Last week I found out about a pool hall that does karaoke on Wednesday nights and I went out and sang and played pool. My husband was very upset that I had gone out without him and last night told me that if I go again, our relationship is over. He actually told me that he doesn’t want me to talk to anyone besides him and that he wants me to stay in my room when I’m not working. Btw, no physical contact was made with anyone at the pool hall and I was careful not to come across as available while out. I’m lonely and just want to make friends. The whole situation makes me angry because he chose this job knowing how much it would impact our lives and now wants me to stay locked away and be alone.

  18. April says:

    My husband (we are newlyweds) is an OTR driver. We have been together for almost 8 years and decided marriage was our next step. It has been almost a year and I have seen him 3 times. One of those visits was a 34 hour reset so he was exhausted. It’s looking like 6 months before I might see him again. I hate this!!! I have tried to tell him that I need him to want to come home for maybe a weekend maybe every 3 months or so. Apparently I am being unreasonable. I love this man so much but that road takes him farther than the miles are actually registering. Just trying to find a balance or compromise~ he states I am being selfish. Help me. Just trying to be supportive but the times are getting longer and longer- last visit was in July 2016- he said I might see him in Feb/March 2017— he doesn’t understand or maybe I don’t. Help.

  19. Hello, my bf is a trucker, and whereas I fully support the fact that he’s a trucker. He had recently just threw out hint hints about getting engaged. This is my first time being an truckers gf/soon-to-be-wife. I’m glad that I found this site to have support when I’m feeling lonely or need to talk. He did mentioned if I’ll be alright with him being on the road, of course I will. I will, like most of the gf’s/wives have a lot of loneliness, but I’ll get through them, just take them day by day.

  20. Stephanie Boyd says:

    Hello. My husband left for his OTR training with TransAm today and its already hard on me… We have been married almost 2 years. He mainly got started in the field because after almost a year of trying we got pregnant with our 2nd child together (we have 4 all together.. 8, 8, 6 and 4- 2 are with their mom and my oldest is with her dad we get them for the summers so I just have our 4 yr old right now) and I’m currently 8 1/2 months pregnant so him being gone is going to really be hard on me… I’m trying my best to make it and I know it’s only the first night alone but this is already rough… I’ve fallen asleep and woke up next to this man every day for 2 years and now i feel like half of me is gone… He’ll be out about 3 weeks maybe 4… I just need a way to cope and make it thru the next few weeks… Help!

    • Mary says:

      Hi stephanie i know you posted this in january , well my name is mary i feel we both can relate. How are you doing?!?how did everything go with your pregnancy ? Girl or boy . Our husbands left almost on the same time for otr. I know its really hard i miss my husband every night. Right now its 1:23 am i just cant sleep.:( . i was just messing with google and found this site well hope your doing better!

  21. Anonymous says:

    4 months together then 4 months apart without hearing his voice except once on a 2 hours visit. No kids or pets, 1 friend far who doesn’t understand makes things worst. I try keeping busy with chores, work from home, workouts and crafts but I don’t have the heart to watch tv or movies alone anymore. I find the amount of time alone in silence and lack of socializing and winter cabin fever alarmingly unhealthy. Truckers, sailors, prisoners, soldiers, there must be a construtive network for us devoted gals. Anyone?

  22. Tammy says:

    Hi I am a truckers wife we have been together for 20 year’s now. He has been driving truck almost 14 year’s now. I am stay at home mom we have 2 kids 14 & 16. I do most of his paper work at home. we moved about a hour away from my family about 2 year’s ago from a big city to a smaller city. I don’t drive. Its can be very though emotionally. Since we moved out here he Will take reset times in the big city and not come home he will make any excuse. I am literally at a loss. Me and are kids miss him.

  23. K says:

    I all, I’m engaged to my trucker. We’ve been together 6yrs, we have an almost 4yr old daughter whom is fighting Leukemia and has been since November 2015. He has only been trucking for almost a yr now, I knew always this is what he has wanted to do. He loves it but I just hate to bombard him with everything when he comes home, yet at the same time I don’t have any friends and my family just doesn’t understand our new life with our daughter so they just stay away. For yearssss day in and day out it was always us. Now that life has given us a curve bal he has taken a hugeeeee swing at it I feel. It kills him to be gone but the money is amazing! I don’t have to work, I just don’t know what to do, or how to come across to him sometimes. I loved reading all of the posts on here and seeing so many similar stories, I just hate the fact no matter how long we will never get past this feeling! Like he was supposed to be home tonight and I hate the fact the hours a day driving thing gets in the way. I just miss him and need him so bad!

  24. Kelsea says:

    Hi, I’m new to this. My husband and I have been married for 10 months. My job became very dangerous as I worked in an all male group home for developmentally disabled adults. I started to become the target as I was the only woman working there for very long hours and I’m only 23. The other woman who works there doesn’t get along with residents so that me the main target. My husband was worried and uncomfortable with me being there obviously and asked me to quit my job and remain at home with our (my son from a previous marriage) son who had just turned 4 at the time. I was ok with it as I’d worked my son’s entire life up to that point. His job at that moment wasn’t cutting it and we now live with my parents. His job and his VA disability check weren’t covering our cost of bills and thought this would help save money. It doesn’t. My husband is 10.5 years older than me and it may just be the age difference as I feel I’m more upset and emotional over the time he’s gone. He got his CDL in June of this year. Not long ago considering it’s only August now. Well, the job he took required a 3 week training in Pheonix, AZ and I was ok with that. It sucked and I cried but only once and it was toward the end of the 3 weeks as I had to have surgery. He’s always there for my surgeries (I have them quite often due to endometriosis and pcos with hemmoragic cysts) and I was very nervous but my he kept in touch with my dad at all of his stops. At the end of the 3 weeks, he came home. I had to drive an hour to pick him up which was no big deal and we got home around 1am. That was Friday nite. I had Saturday and Sunday with him and today, Monday, he called his DBL in Portland to set up a day and time to get his truck and get out on the road. Well the guy wanted him in Portland today. He left this morning and I swear all I’ve done is bawl my eyes out. Why is it so hard this time? Does it get any easier? My 4 year old has been asking me all day, “when will Josh be home?” Of course I answer honestly and say he is working will be home in 2 weeks/14 days and home for 2 until he heads out again. My son started crying saying he wants daddy home. Now, he has a wonderful relationship with his biological father. Altho that did not start until I married Josh, I’m very proud of their relationship. Anyway, he has been crying off and on all day for Josh and I haven’t let him see me cry. I need to be ok for him and I know that. I also realize some women would kill for my husband’s schedule. As a veteran he got to choose his schedule and that was the one with the most home time.
    I guess my biggest question is, does it get easier? How do I stay strong for our son? I’ve never done this and I absolutely hate it. I know my husband does as well and says he’s doing what’s best for our family. I completely understand that. I really do. Am I selfish for crying? For constantly saying how much I miss him? If I don’t say I miss him, he says it first. Every “I miss you” hurts a little more knowing this is going to be normal and he is ‘ in it for the long haul.’ Please, please tell me this gets easier.

    P.s. I’m sorry this post is so jumbled and rambles on. I’ve had a lot on my mind and no one to talk to who will give me a response besides, “suck it up.”

    • Rachel says:

      When people tell me to suck it up and get over it, it just makes it hurt a little more. My hubby has been doing otr for a year now (2 months out, 1 week home). Id be lying if I said it got easier, it doesn’t seem to. We just have to remember that no matter how much we miss them, they miss us more. I cry every time hes back on the road and so does our 4 year old. Although it’s hard, you’ll be stronger because of it. Hopefully you find some peace with his job. Bless your trucker.

  25. Mary says:

    I have been married to my wonderful hubby for 7 yrs. he went to laredo tx to a trucking school in nov 2016 since then i only get to see him twice a month or so. We have 4 kids 13yr old, 10, 3, and 2. And oh boy my little ones crie so much everytime he walks out that door it hurts so much that tears start coming out my eyes. I thought with time it will get better but it just hasnt. I think its just getting worst and harder for me n kids to let him go!! Hubby was about to quit this week !! We just miss eachother so muchhhh!! At first i wouldn’t cry and now i just cry all the time and i get mad cuz his not here. I feel my kids dont have a father. Im the one raising them. Its just so hard im so mad!!! His been looking for a local job but the pay is so little. We both are just so desperate.

  26. Rachel says:

    My trucker just went on the road again. Sigh. I’m thankful for the time that we spend as a family with our 4 year old but it never is easy when its time for him to hit the road. We’re high school sweethearts, been together 7 years married 1. He’s my best friend and the love of my life. He’s been driving otr for a year now and I can honestly say it doesnt get easier, but finding ways to occupy your time is the most helpful. My husband is the best father to our son and is always talking to us every down time he has. I let my trucker know that I am here for him if he needs to talk and to not talk about home as much as I would want to because I found he gets home sick when I do. Being a trucker wife is challenging, but rewarding. And not in the materialistic ways but that the bond between a trucker and his wife will grow even stronger and make every moment count. Tell him you love him, and be his rock while he’s away. Lord protect my trucker and all you ladies truckers. ❤

  27. Amanda says:

    I am in a relationship with a truck driver for a year now this is a big adjustment for me and him before I used to be able to go on the road with him but his company policy recently changed to where I can’t go we don’t live together yet so basically we spent our time together on the road I work weekends so weekends were hard for us we still talk everyday but I am missing him like crazy I feel lost and a little empty inside but I am proud to call him mine and happy that he loves doing his job

  28. Emma says:

    My husband just left for the first time. We’ve been together almsot two years and married since August. We’re always together everything we do involves each other and I haven’t slept alone since moving in with him 10 months ago. This will be the first night apart since then. He’s been out of the house maybe an hour and already I want to cry knowing I won’t fele his warmth beside me or kisses every morning. It breaks my heart and all I can hope is that with time it will become easier. For now my heart is sad and lonely.

  29. Ashley B. says:

    My fiance has not yet left for his first venture over the road. We have been together for 6 years, and we have two beautiful children, 4 and 5. They are 18 months apart.
    My fiance is going with a company for a year and getting his CDL so for now, he will only be gone for a year because when he gets back, he wants something to where he can be home nightly.
    Regardless…its going to be a rough year and im scared to death. I don’t like to be alone, but i know it will be worth it. My fiance has wanted to do this since we have been together. I want what makes him happy. Luckily i am sure i will have family support, but im still terrified. I am hoping to find other friends that have a trucker for a significant other. I would like to relate to someone.
    I don’t know what more to say. I hope everything works out and i hope we can both manage this new lifestyle.

    • Celine says:

      Hello! My hubby has been driving almost a year. I miss him a lot but we both are looking toward the bigger picture and having a better future. I pray a lot, keep in touch with him, tell him how proud I am of him and that I love him. I keep our conversation light unless there something really important to tell him. Always take care of yourself and laugh a lot things will be fine

  30. RJA says:

    Hey for you new people; that have not been in the trucking business! This is the hardest; been doing this for 16 years! My husband does heavy haul: means he is our three weeks at a time. He makes 6 figures; my heart has changed the separation of weeks is very hard! I work a full time job as well, I keep everything going here at our homestead! I feel that everything is on me! It makes me angry! If your partner can make a living elsewhere especially for the families with children; it’s important for a family to be together not apart! They re only young once then their gone! Sometimes it just isn’t worth it

  31. Tracy says:

    I love my husband, but I never like his job. Truck driver

  32. Davina says:

    Hello all,
    I’m new to my husband being a truck driver over the road we have been married for 20 years we have no kids I have one child from previous relationship with someone but my son is now grown and out of the house. I am 40 years old and have a Pitbull and a husky to keep me company but my husband stays out a lot. I have seen him maybe 3 days in 2 half months its very lonely but I do have a full time job but just going home to a empty house after having someone beside me for 20 years is depressing 🙁 I try to stay busy as much as I can 🙁 My husband wants me to go out with him but I cant due to our dogs no babysitter and they don’t allow it in the trucks. My hubby and I relationship has gone down hill since he got into to this career 6 mths ago. I just don’t know what to do anymore I do love him but its so hard learning to live without him and only seeing him 2 days a month after 20 years. im at my witts end help.

  33. Emily says:

    Thanks for useful information

  34. WarriorsWife says:

    There is great money in it but honestly there needs to be conversations about just how long this “being on the road” will continue. My fiancé and I have two kids and he is constantly in and out and I am left to do it all by myself, hold down the kids, the home, and I also work full time (as a RN). And I’m also in grad school online. He is actually an Owner Operator of his own company and has drivers, which makes it even harder. He’s been driving for 2 years and lately the loads have gotten more intense and I cry a lot just go relieve frustration. No one in my world gets it, everyone has sneaky comments about how he’s always gone, and of course some people just flat out have their own opinions period and all of that makes it even more frustrating. So for the record. When people ask where he is. say “oh he is at home chilling” (even though he is miles away, lol) because others are so nosey and only want to confirm their own judgements so they can talk crap about him. KEEP PEOPLE OUT YOUR FAMILY!!!!! But yes it’s Very Hard and it has just caused so many little arguments and bickering at times. We always press through, as he is my Best Friend and Soul Mate, but it def is a strain on our relationship and family life. I will say he works very hard to be there for moments he knows is a MUST and he does try and let me know how much he misses me and the kids too while on the road. And just to be clear ladies, they like the money but they really don’t like it either. My hubby tells me all the time; “you think I like what I do, I’m providing for you guys and trying to get stable enough to come out of this truck”………but in the end, God and Prayer is what always sees us through. I just look at it like we are in the Thick of it right now. Soon I will be a Nurse Practitioner (DNP) and he will be out of the truck and managing his drivers from his office; that’s are ultimate goal Because him driving for years and years and years and having me do it all and missing out on the kids and Us and we not even officially married yet either, is NOT GOING DOWN!!!!!!!

  35. Kaytlyn says:

    Hi. I am new to this. I am a newly wed truckers wife. I just wanna start by saying. It’s very stressful and upsetting being home all the time alone, we talk all day, but when it comes to night time, it’s the hardest. Weekends are amazing, it’s just I feel as if his job is more important than his family. When hes home, hes talking about his job, when hes working hes talking about his job. I have family around, but it’s not the same. I still come home to an empty house. I have 2 children from previous relationships, as we are currently trying. He has 6 kids, so on weekends, its hectic, and we still have no alone time like we should. I just miss my husband. I’m glad hes doing something he loves doing. I just miss him, especially since hes supposed to be doing hybrid, and still isnt home. I love the man more than I love myself, just wish he knew how much I actually miss. Sorry for venting, and sobbing. I just miss my husband alot. It sure isnt easy..

  36. Anna says:

    Hi! Will this feeling of loneliness over time? Or there are two types of truckers wife. Those who are accustomed to distance or those who can not stand it?

  37. Kay says:

    I am so glad I found this page my husband and I have been married 16 years and known each other for 20 years. Our kids are 14 and 5
    It is refreshing to see this article. He has been been trucking when I met him and decided to do long distance for till oldest was 5 years..then drove locally and went back on the road right before our youngest was born so now it has been another 7 years. For some reason it seems harder this second time around the kids miss him terribly and I always feel lonely. I joined the gym and go to alot of events but its still not the same. We talk endlessly on the phone but when he comes home its like the kids take most of the our time.
    My kids center with their dad when he is home. I can tell he is happy but am beginning to feel a gap with the in and out always trying to catch up from the last time we saw each other. REAL TALK
    Don’t know what to do..bills are paid, but inside am feeling so lonely. I don’t want to complain because he started to driving for himself got his own truck and I still work but my plate is soo full trying to balance the whole family life. Any suggestions

  38. Destiny N Porter says:

    Hello I’m new to this life as well me and my partner have been together for 10 years and he has been truck driving for almost 2 1/2 years and the first year wasnt that bad but now it seems like we argue more we have 3 kids my son is 3 and my stepdaughters are 10 and 11 now, I have my son all week and my girls on the weekends and breaks, I’m not a stay at home mom I’m a cosmetologist/barber and I’m able to make my own hours which is a blessing, I’m just not financially stable to where I wanna be, I tell my partner how frustrating this is getting and I dont feel the support from him, he says he provides well for our family and I say otherwise more like 70% provider than 100%, I feel alone at times, I’m getting depressed, I know being a truck driver is a hard job but so is a full time worker and mother, thanks for hearing me out I hope this gets better

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